Women are discovering they have ADHD in adulthood more than ever before. Whether you've put the pieces together yourself, taken a quiz or have received a diagnosis from a doctor, once that lightbulb goes on, it's somewhat lifechanging. Your life may go on as before, but with a new understanding or insight to why you do this or that. I'm sure everyone's story is unique, but we all share this moment of discovery.

For me, it brought SO MANY answers!! Oh, so THAT's why I do this, or THAT explains why I do that. I even remembered back to my first day of Kindergarten when I didn't want my mom to leave (which actually is not very much like me -- I was pretty independent and remembering telling my mom from the time I was little, "I'll do it myself!" Her memory is me saying, "I'll do it my way, you do it your way!" I really was a sweet child. I just figured I'd do it myself if I could and I already had a good way.

On that first day of school, my mom kept trying to leave and I kept asking her to stay. Eventually (and it couldn't be that much later), I had to use the bathroom and told my mom. The quick thinker that my mom was, she said, "Oh I don't know where the bathroom is, your teacher will have to show you" so the teacher's aide walked me down the hall while my mom slipped out.

Thankfully, I never had a teacher who got angry at me for talking or blurting (I did do my best to please the teacher in every class, every year), but I do remember what it felt like to sit at my desk and have such a tremendous need to talk, participate, share, give the answer and not get called on. I'm sure my teachers did call on me, but it felt like they didn't because I raised my hand far more often than they'd let me talk. My teacher would tell me to put my hand down and give someone else a chance. I even remember her saying, "We know you know the answer, Renee, let's give someone else a chance."

Then she'd call on a shy girl who wasn't raising her hand and didn't look like she wanted to talk or knew the answer. It's not like I was wanting to take over or anything. I just had a huge urge to share what was in my head, to let the teacher know I was hearing what she was telling me, to participate in the conversation that felt like it was just between us.

One night when I was in 3rd grade, I remember lying in my bed, planning out how I would start acting in school.

I would no longer be the girl who raised my hand all the time, I wanted to be quiet and shy. I told myself I would sit quietly in my chair and would not blurt out any answers. I would sit there and wait until my teaching said, "Renee, do you know the answer?" then I would so happily share! It would be so great to not have the teacher tell me to put down my hand or give someone else a turn.

So the next day at school, I sat at my desk and did my best to sit still and be quiet. I watched the clock. I tried and tried to stay still and not raise my hand and everything in MY BEING struggled with being like the shy girls in class. I kept watching the clock and as it got closer to lunch time, I remember thinking, "THAT'S IT!!! I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!" and I raised my hand and let myself be me.

I'm not sure why that stayed with me, but I do know that throughout my years in school, even though I did well in my studies, I had a great need to communicate with my teacher or anyone in class (back in the day when we passed notes or french braided each other's hair in class to help pass the time). As an adult, I've had to self-regulate best I can in a class situation, limiting myself to two times of raising my hand to share an experience or thought. And I really weigh out that second thought because if I use it up, I can't use a third, even if it comes to me with full power and has a REALLY hard time staying inside!

I had no idea this was a common thing for kids (and even adults) with ADHD, so it wasn't on my radar for me or my kids when they were in school. I have six children (all adults now), and in school, three of them were very much like I was. In fact, when my oldest daughter was in 4th grade, her teacher told me how amazing she was in his class with the only complaint that she blurts out the answers.

My reply was "Well, sorry to tell you there's no changing that. She gets that from me and it's just not something you can help. It's in her blood." I thought if my kids were like me, they were just like me, but didn't know it was because we both had ADHD (and that it's highly hereditary). Just like my kids could look like me, their brains could have executive dysfunction and ADHD gifts like mine, as well.

It's because of my kids learning more about ADHD as they got older that I discovered I have ADHD.

It's been a fun journey, connecting the dots of the past (and present). Learning you have ADHD as an adult can help you recognize all the methods, tips, patterns you've already used throughout your life to deal with the challenges you have.

As you put the pieces together of your past and present, I hope you find connections that are helpful, enlightening and empowering. No matter how you've managed your ADHD ways in the past, continue to find value and validation in the way you are. Take care!

— Renee